Tuesday, January 8, 2008

THE BIGGEST MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN A RELATIONSHIP


Relationships are difficult to sustain. Very few relationships sustain for long with both partners totally happy. Most people carry through a relationship without any joy.We all start our new relationships with hopes, dreams, and wonderful aspirations. But oftentimes, we see couples, or in our own relationships, where things turn sour. What can be done to keep a relationship strong and joyous?

Avoid this common mistakes.

1. Not investing enough time in your relationship

2. "Housework" is not just for women. You can learn how to do laundry, vacuum the house and wash the dishes if you haven’t learned in the past.

3. Your partner is NOT your Mom and is not responsible to help you remember what it takes to keep harmony and peace in your relationship.

4. Thinking everything is about you and for you. Basically being selfish in a relationship.

5. Storming out of an argument without an agreement to at least come back later for resolution

6. Not listening too and supporting your partner’s ideas even if you don’t believe in them

7. Constantly talking smack about her family members. You knew who they were before you became involved with her and whether you like it or not, they are there to stay. Please remember that blood is thicker than water. That doesn’t mean you can’t voice an opinion occasionally, it just means don’t constantly rail on her family even if you are right. You’ll plant a seed in her that may grow into a thorn bush.

8. Not taking your time in bed with her to allow her to grab a piece of heaven. Men want quick affection, sex, and security with a woman. And then we want the space and relaxed distance. Women want space and relaxed distance. THEN they want affection, sex, and a build-up of trust and security.

9. Not learning to be emotionally available. Women aren’t asking you to stop being a man, just talk about who you are, where you came from, past history and future dreams.) If this is hard for you, seek help or join a group.

Counseling can be difficult for men. It is traditionally based on talking and sharing. These are more conducive for women. But there are male counselors out there and you don't have to go to just anyone. You have the power of choice. Going to counseling is not a sign of weakness. Not going is more a sign of weakness, because you are avoiding the real problems and stand to lose your love relationship.

Also there are another mistakes that a men should avoid:

* Never tell any woman that she has put on weight, even if you think it only makes her sexier, keep silent. Most women are fiercely fighting against extra pounds - they are dieting, taking pills, and work out until they faint.

* Don’t nag at her for spending the whole day and a fortune in a beauty parlor. For girls a new hairstyle or fresh manicure symbolizes a new life.

* Never criticize her cooking skills, even in the most delicate way ("My mom usually adds eggs in the pancake batter"). Your mom has nothing to do with your relationship.

* Never praise another woman’s looks if your girlfriend is around. Beware that the mere fact that divas of this caliber exist on the same planet makes the life of every woman miserable. Your girlfriend is concerned about her body, no matter how perfect she seems to you.

* Don’t take your girlfriend to a soccer (hockey, golf, etc.) tournament. She will either sit there bored and ruin your fun, or will get to like the sport and in no time she will know more about soccer (hockey, golf, etc.) than you do, which will piss you off eventually. This way she will deprive you of one of our main guys’ pleasures.

* In most of relationships both partners try to avoid conflicts .Conflict includes such examples as arguments, differences, and variances. The Truth is, we are all different. That's what makes each one of us special. But, sometimes we try to avoid our partner. This is much like number one on the list but is more keenly felt by the partner. Worst is that we blame others (or other things) and deny our own self-responsibility. When we avoid responsibility, we typically express it as blaming others, usually our partner, and try to make them change and conform. This is a form of manipulation and an avoidance of Self. Many of us refuse to get help.

If you had the methods and the tools to keep your relationship alive, loving and healthy you don't need any advices but if not you should avoid this mistakes.

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